things floating around in my head this morning

“be anxious for nothing, but in everything with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving present your requests to God. and the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” ~philippians 4:6-7

“pursue wisdom, joy, and Jesus” ~a wise professor of mine at graduation (aka: my dad)

“when the mandolin sang like a bird on on the wing
in the hands of bill monroe
when chet played guitar like a walk in the park
like a prodigal son coming home
they spoke into being the work of their hands
from the void of the wire and the wood
and they sang and they played
and they said that it was good

let there be light
let there be love
let there be light, let there be love
let there be music

now, aaron’s a preacher and i play guitar
and jim, he can tune up your ford
dave is in law school for 800 years
for the sake of the sick and the poor
the work of our hands is the salt of the earth
the music we make is the light of the world
let it shine, let it shine, let it shine

when your spirit is hovering over there deep
in the image of God just look into that darkness and speak
let there be light, let there be love, let there be music

so let the mandolin play like a mother’s embrace
let the fiddle be warm as a smile
let the guitar be bright as a friend at your side
when you’re lost on a lonely mile
let the music be sweet as the washing of feet
and as gentle as a kiss
let the love that we feel be as light as a reel
and as real as the love we give” ~andrew peterson

“do you trust Me?” ~ from a skit, a slight nudge, “aladdin”, and in a whisper

“fly and be free…” ~a song for a way’s back written by a girl i know…

cry from the office

i want to work with my hands.

i want to do something that matters.

i want to feel again.

i want to not be anxious all the time.

i want to not care what other people think.

…i’m beginning to wonder why i let meself get sucked into this world i swore i never wanted to have anything to do with. ah, i remember now… my knee issues, a horrible manager, mice running rampant and giving me nightmares,… that cann all read one to make decisions one will soon regret. *sigh* how do i get out of this mess? “God, please help. am i allowed to just up and quit? can i let myself out the back door? should i ease myself out of here slowly? how much longer can i hang on? and what should i do when i do get free? (proverbs something or other, about freeing yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, just came to mind)… “seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness”, You say. i don’t even know how to do that here. it’s suffocating. the other centers seem less suffocating, but how to make ky come alive? how can i find You there? can you find me in the depths, Lord? can You reach down and pull me ou, pull me up for air? i want to breathe You again! please, God, break through.

reach me.

rescue me.

i want to help Your people. is this my prison, my mission field, my calling? how do i reach these people? i’d rather be overseas, or in a classroom helping kids learn, making a difference in their lives, or even putting books on shelves and organizing things back in the library than be here… stuck in the day to day, in over my head, wondering what now, how do i cope and make it through the day surrounded by negativity? please, i need sunshine and flowers and freedom and love blossoming and growing and bursting forth in every direction! can i be that here? i’m not strong enough… please help, Lord Jesus. ‘i don’t know what to do, but my eyes are on You’, or at least, they are searching the sky (or in this case, the paneled ceiling) for Your face, i’m straining to hear Your voice, waiting desperately for Your touch… come, Lord Jesus, come, please and fill me and show Your servent what to do, teach Your child how to do it… i need You… thank You, Lord, for hearing me. i know You do… i’m in Your hands.”

a life, a legacy, and mrs. graeter’s herself

i did it.

i got to hug mrs. graeter herself.

i thanked her for making such great ice cream over the years, and being a place where we could come celebrate birthdays, special occasions, the coloring contest every year,… graeter’s is the place to go after a concert or the movies, or someone’s back in town, or visiting for the first time, or anytime!!

it was amazing to watch her. you could tell she owned the place, even by the way she scooped the ice cream. she wandered around the store, greeting customers with a plate of delicious chocolate-covered cookies. i barely had to think twice about approaching her (although, i must admit it did take longer to muster up the courage than i would have liked!), especially after seeing her picture on the wall, to ensure the fact that, yes, that was indeed the mrs. graeter (and not her evil twin, ‘mrs. worser’!). i finally gatherred myself together and meandered over in her direction. she was chatting with more customers, so i casually read the ingredients list on a box of chocolates till she was finished. then, i approached with my simple request of, “could i please give you a hug?”, which was quickly followed by a, “oh sure, sure!” she set the plate of cookies down and hugged me, fair and square. then she proceeded to ask me where i grew up, and i shared that i love ice cream, and grater’s is by far the best, and she heartily agreed.

it was a simple conversation, really. but it was inspiring. i walked away, wishing i could be that passionate about my job, and hoping i can leave my kids with some kind of legacy they can be proud of.

sunrise and snow at year’s end

“wow, God,… so it took the very last day of the year, and a gorgeous sunrise, and the beginnings of a snow, to get me to say ‘thank You’ for a wonderful job where i am up early enough to see the sunrise, and i get to drive towards it-ish, and You get to overwhelm me with Your goodness day after day! i am such an idiot/ungrateful, selfish child of Yours. and yet You love me. You give me the most incredible gifts EVER–Your Son’s very own life, Eternity with You, an amazing husband and partner for the journey, fantastic friends to weave in and out of each others’ lives and continually nudge each other closer to You, tastebuds, ice cream, sweet potato fries, a warm bed, an enormously wonderful family on all sides, hot water, a place where i can shower every day (several times a day, if i chose to!), fluffy towels, more food than we can possibly consume, more shoes than i know what to do with, more clothes than i will ever be able to wear, the ability to share, a servant’s heart, excellent health, music to comfort, sooth and excite, art to inspire, provoke thought and urge me to action, dance to ‘let it out’ when there are no more words, theatre to try on different hats and learn from others, good books to get lost in, Your world to enjoy and explore… oh, God, may i never be complacent again. keep me alive and in this moment, never taking anything for granted, not even the fresh air (as smoggy as it might be) in every breath You let me take. …thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!! for everything… i love You, Lord. ‘and i lift my voice to worship You. oh my soul, rejoice! take joy, my King, in what You hear–may it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear!’ “

the elements

hilairy just brought a plant into our little nook of the office, and suddenly i felt like i could breathe again. this brought several things to mind, all in rapid fire, of course, so i will now attempt to retrace my steps in a clear, yet ramblesome way, for you.
at first, i felt sorry for the plant. we’ve captured it, tamed it, probably even trimmed it and bred it so it’s “office-suitable”. we feed it chemically-cleansed water, and made it live without sunlight, and instead live off of these horrible florescent lights, which fade colors and can make even a person grow weary by the end of the day. what kind of life is that for a plant??

then, i realized it was us i felt sorry for. we need to stay connected to the earth God has given us to live on/in and enjoy it. not run from it, not hide in our houses, and keep away from “the elements” (harsh though they may be). we keep ourselves occupied with our gadgets and gizmos, even listening to music while we drive to distract us from the view. we drink bottled, “purified” water, becasue we have so desecrated the water God gave us with our pollution and filth.
“how long to sing this song?”

granted, on a day like today, i am all for staying as far away from “the elements” as possible (when last i checked it was 7 degrees outside!)! however, that does not deter me from my long-time yearning for a life like the “swiss family robinson”, living in an exotic treehouse we built ourselves, exploring an island that is all ours with wild and wonderful animals to befriend… i’ve always said that if i were stranded on a deserted island i would want one of my eagle scout friends with me, and (thank the Lord!) i ended up marrying one, so we’re all set!

those are my thoughts on office plants and people for the day.

tragedy meets life-change

…wow…

i’m shaken. to the core. devastated.  inspired.  heavey-hearted. in awe.  wondering…

in case you didn’t hear, a trgic accident happened at crossroad’s “awaited” a Christmas show”’s opening night last night. a young lady, who played the role of one of the wisemen, fell from her flight from 20 feet in the air and was injured. she passed on this morning. the cause for her fall is still unknown.

daniel and i were privileged to sit in on their dress rehearsal on monday (daniel took pictures, i sat and soaked it all in), and the wisemen scene/song was incredibly powerful for me. it has stirred up the longing for a quest of my own, for answers, for Truth, for the dangerous unknown and adventure of chasing down my King, of following Him to the ends of the earth, and beyond… i cried from the depths of my heart as God brought the wisemen’s story to life in a brilliant and beautiful way. i wish i could describe to you the power of it: the wisemen, giving up everything to follow this star to who knows where, the total surrender to this dream and hope that there will be that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, that King of old Who will make all things new, that this will be the beginning of a brand new way of life… but words are not enough.

and now, with this,… it seems that much more urgent to make the most of today, right now, and GO seek the  Savior. GO find Him to be real. GO take Him to the world. GO shake some change and wonder into people.

i mean, we met her, we talked with keri and heard a tiny piece of her story. our stories were entwined for one brief moment, only a few nights ago. and now? she beat us There. she seemed so sweet, and full of life, so excited to be a part of this production that was telling God’s story, of how He humbled Himself and became a servant to all of us, wrapping Himself in skin, containing His immense Glory into the form of an ordinary, common man, and living among us. God–with–us. Emmanuel. …mind-blowing.

so, what to do now? stay shaken. let it change it you. let Him change you. let His story infiltrate your heart and sweep you into the scary, dangerous, intense, passionate pursuit of Him.

God’s car wash

wow, it’s been a while! i apologize to those of you who might be sitting on the edge of your seats, wondering if by chance becky’s job has gotten less boring or something. well, to answer your question, yes, it has gotten less boring–actually, my lack of writing can be blamed on the fact that last week i received the, “hey, the economy’s bad, and none of our jobs are safe, so here are some places for improvement in your performance here” talk. :-/ but, it has urged me to be more creative with my time, and to really dig into this website thing and invest myself in the people’s lives around me, make myself invaluable to them all (especially the ones who seem to be out to ruin the rest of world’s day).

so, that’s what i’ve been up to. but, on a lighter note, let me share a God story with you: for a few weeks my car has been berry-speckled, and a pititful sight, to be sure. not that this has any eternal significance whatsoever, but it still irked me. i asked God, rather sheepishly, if He could wash it with the bit of snow we had last week, but of course it didn’t snow nearly enough to do that, so i decided, instead, to make it fun and asked daniel if we could go through the car wash sometime, since i haven’t done that since was but a wee one. he said sure, but then the day came, we ran out of time due to situations beyond our control. i felt frustrated (not necessarily with daniel, since he couldn’t have done anything about the way things turned out, but with someone–probably myself, for having not washed it by hand weeks ago!), and it left me slightly in a funk for part of the evening.

well, the next morning (yesterday, that is), what should i awaken to, but the sound of rain!! God wanted to clean my car afterall! not because i deserved it (especially after my attitude problem the night before!), and not because it was by any means important, but because He loves me, and He wanted to show me that He will take care of me, no matter what, if i choose to trust Him–actually, regardless of if i trust Him or not! He’s going to continually blow my socks off, sweep me off my feet, and send me humbly and joyfully running back to His arms to thank Him for being Himself. also, (as if that weren’t enough!) i switched cds in my car, and the song waiting to play for me was misty edwards, singing about the rain, and coming out of the desert, and asking, “are you ready for the rain?”!

guess it may…

“i’m still learning what love is
everyday i wake up in your arms
i’m still trying to figure out what works
how to set off all your alarms

i’m still learning what love is
when i’m walking close to you
the best way to hold your hand in mine
the best way to comfort you

guess it may
guess it may
guess it may
guess it may
it may always be this way

i’m still learning what love is
every time you look at me that way
i’m still trying to figure out just how
you can still look at me the same

guess it may…
it may always be this way

even though i may not get it right
all the time i will always try
and i will always stand right by your side

i’m still learning what love is
everyday i wake up in your arms
i’m still trying to figure out what works

guess it may…
it may always be this way”

rosie thomas, how you melt my heart and say exactly what i’m thinking. thank you.

she also has some new Christmas music, if you’d care to check it out–click here. enjoy!

new favorite

check out this site: http://anicecuppa.net/

i think i’ve stumbled into internet heaven…

in other news…

in other news…

i have been feeling really weird lately. stomach acting up, oddly-placed headaches, moody, near-depressed, eating horribly, etc. etc. and i think it’s because of stress. but what stress? where is this stress coming from? is it because i’m facing my lions at work? is it that i’m fighting so hard i forget to recharge and refresh and all thsoe amazing re-words? is it that i’m worried over little things: cdt set-up, the outcome of tomorrow, making wise decisions, feeling indecisive in general (more often than normal!), mi familia and all the random things going on with everyone, plans, making everyone happy, living up to expectations, etc… wow, now that i say all of that, no wonder i’m feeling so overwhelmed. good grief. back off, becky! give yourself a break! i guess i do this sometimes–take on everyone else’s problems and make them my own. it’sthe big sister in me, i think.

in other news,…

november and december are two of my all-time favorite months! i love the weather, the family get-togethers for birthdays and holidays ( we have a bunch of birthdays in those two months, mine included!), the colors, the smells, the excuse to wrap up in toasty warm blankets and drink all the tea and hot chocolate i can muster (which is really no more than a mug per sitting–i’m not a very fast drinker),… so, yeah, i’m glad it’s here, and i hope it doesn’t go by too quickly. i want to be able to soak it all in before we get snowed in and have frozen tidbits for toes and all that jazz.

in other news,…

daniel just might have a job come january that requires him to travel every other week. i’m SUPER-excited for him, because he will absolutely love it, and he will comes back with all kinds of fun stories about things he’s seen and people he’s met and it’ll be great! but at the same time, that means i’ll be here, plodding along, doing my thing, all by myself… and to combat the instant loneliness and lost feelings that want to prevail here, i began to think of things to do–lots of girls’ movie nights and sleepovers, staying with my parents for a day or two maybe, getting lots of reading done, hanging out with all those people i never have time to see, etc. i think it’l lbe good. and i don’t want to rain on his parade. this would be a totally incredible